Readers of this web site were challenged to translate into English an incomprehensible call by the Society for Cultural Anthropology for papers to be delivered at the society’s convention next May in California. The winner of our translation contest is Tom Kerrigan of Bethpage, New York. Here is his winning entry:
Pseudo-intellectual gibberish pontificated by the prophets of moral relativism in sparsely read and poorly edited “scholarly” journals and published by their higher-education enablers has created a cottage industry for clownish frauds that lack any critical reasoning skills to get their mugs on cable TV. Speaking in rambling non-sequiturs, these self-proclaimed elites, who despise Western Civilization for being ethnocentric and racist, seek to deconstruct our society in order to liberate the ignorant masses from their pre-conceived stereotypes regarding gender, class and race creating a new ruling class with a thoroughly modern, monolithic, diverse utopian societal worldview. The advent of internet blogospheres, the abysmal failure of public education, the persistent demonization of the Boy Scouts as a hate group, the incessant castigations of Fundamentalist Christians as theocratic zealots and the widely-accepted view that Republicans are mean-spirited demagogues challenge formally accepted “truths”. This constant drumbeat bombards our consciousness forcing us to question formerly accepted quaint notions of equality and individual rights that were simply figments of the collective imagination of an oppressive intellectual cartel made up of privileged white misogynistic slave owners. Cloaked with the imprimatur of scholarly legitimacy by institutes of higher learning, brimming with self-esteem and fiercely nonjudgmental, we the self-anointed high priests of post-modern liberal orthodoxy (i.e. racial hucksters, man-hating feminists, assorted conspiracy theorists, left wing fanatics and other brethren (Note: Term “brethren” deleted by PC police as an expression of latent sexism – suggested gender neutral replacement term: comrades) have been given a unique platform to spew our hatred with impunity and what better place to do so than sunny California. The SCA annual meeting will offer an opportunity for enlightened like-minded individuals to socialize, validate our feelings, pick up free stuff, ponder hard questions in a really nuanced way and maybe even get laid while on someone else’s dime….